What do we do when our relationship breaks down?
Most of us have experienced this situation and we know exactly how it feels and some of us have just become professionals at dealing with the situation.
Those of us who fall into the first group probably go through the same gambit of emotions as I myself have over the past 2 months. There is panic (my relationship was very long and also my first ever relationship), confusion, a grief like process, anger, denial and if we are extremely unlucky our biggest flaw becomes an almost stalker like dependency on our former partners.
It was while in the middle of this process I happened across a curious anomaly. I have a friend of the exact same age who is almost a professional at these kinds of break ups. Maybe we all have this friend but just never realised.
He spoke to me about his most recent failed relationship after just a few dates. He said that he informed her not to worry about upsetting him with ending it because he was use to it now and it didn’t bother him in the slightest. She could do it without any guilt or fear of hurting him.
I realised in that moment that we are better for feeling something. Our pain and our suffering remind us we are alive and not robots who flick the lights out on these dimming lamps of relationships, without any emotion or feeling at all, before moving on to the next numb encounter.
Let it hurt. It means I care.