When we find ourselves putting on a little Christmas weight or getting comfortable in a relationship and piling on the pounds what happens to us?
I recently learned all about shame. How we process it in 4 ways:
Now as far as I am aware few people speak about their weight and the feeling of shame that surrounds it. When we do speak about it it is often when someone else has made us feel shame in that instance.
In that moment our primary motive is to attack other. In this case the individual who so cruelly pointed out we are getting a little hefty around the middle. If we are unlucky this event could have occurred at traffic lights or in some overheard conversation at work.
We then tend to attack ourselves when we have finished venting to our friends and family. Often we would then withdraw from the situation if it falls into the “overheard at work” scenario.
I think we miss the denial part. When we look at it logically it is what all of us with weight issues do. We live in denial to a certain extent. Otherwise would all those other emotions we feel not hurt us over and over all day every day?
Out greatest defence mechanism when we are overweight and aware of it is denial. It is in this denial that we reach for another burger or packet of fries.
In that scenario nothing will ever change. It’s time to tackle the shame but not before putting a brick through the windshield of the teenagers who called me fat at the traffic lights…just wish I could run faster!