Carrying Your Own Weight


Wow…I guess maybe it should have happened sooner? I mean you expect it in the beginning, right? You would think 6 months in all the bad feeling would be gone, no?

I have now been try to shift this one miserable pound to take me down into the next stone bracket for over 10 days now! It should be easy. I was losing 2-3 pound a week consistently. It is making me more upset because this milestone that I am currently striving for is the most important for me. It is so tantalisingly close now!

It was the first goal I set for myself. I know 7 stone was foolish…hindsight is a wonderful thing. I should have set smaller goals. It was a psychological goal though for me as much as anything. To no longer be 20 something stone. It would just be amazing for me. I have 1 stone and 1 pound to go until I reach it.

I have avoided the scales for the last 3 days as they depressed me when I hopped on a week after my last weigh in. I don’t know why it isn’t budging. My diet has not changed. I am sticking to my calories. My exercise has increased this week not decreased. This is the lowest point I have been now in my weight loss.

Please don’t say all the cliche things like muscles weighs more than fat (it doesn’t, 100g of fat is 100g of muscle) or that my body is in starvation mode (this doesn’t exist, there is a more logical explanation for what people experience during weight loss). Something else is at play here and I need to figure out what it is.

Having thought about it I just think my metabolism is slowing as it should now that it is carrying almost 40kg less than it was before. I’m taking all the advice about speeding it up or keeping it working as it should. I drink water and keeping to over 1,200 calories a day. Nothing so far has made a difference.

It hurts like hell. I’m taking it as a failure and I know I shouldn’t be. To lose 6 stone so far is a great achievement. I recognise that. I just wish that now the thing I want so much is so near, that it wouldn’t screw around with me. I feel like my body is trying to cling desperately onto the fat just to spite me.

All this is part of the reason I am considering going back on the Orlistat. In the past few days I have been pushed to breaking point. Psychologically having to lose all this weight is hard enough. Dieting as I am and not seeing the figures change is soul destroying.

In the battle for my health, fitness and life back, my body is refusing to carry its weight!


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