The moment I realised I wanted to, had to, do it was about this time last year. It was a complete fluke. A basic problem became a full emergency. Vomiting blood, ECG’s, intravenous antibiotics and uncontrollable shivering at 5am.
As we rushed to A&E all sorts went through my mind. I had had a bladder infection earlier in the week but the antibiotics had started working, though, the day before there was blood again in my urine. What could be wrong?
The hospital was only a mile away. I was panicking. I had never felt this way before and could not stop shaking. My teeth rattled in my mouth. My partner at the time was very good. He took control and helped me dress.
I’d made the mistake of taking a warm shower to try and warm up. The Nurse looked at me disapprovingly when I said this. I was rushed past waiting queues of people on a trolley to an area of the hospital that was right under an air conditioning unit. My temperature was dangerously high.
The infection was in my blood.